Sade Tagbo's Blog

Father Abraham's Drama Triangle

Please see the previous post for the introduction to this.

Genesis Chapter 16

Verses 1-4

Sarah cannot have children. Instead of taking responsibility and working out her faith in God, she asks Hagar to come in and conceive a child for her.(Sarah = Victim, Hagar = Rescuer)

Verse 4

Hagar is pregnant. She persecutes Sarah by being haughty, rude and self-exalting. (Sarah = Victim, Hagar = Persecutor)

Verse 5 & 6

Sarah accuses Abraham of creating the situation that caused her to be despised by Hagar (Sarah = Victim, Abraham = Persecutor)

Abraham wisely refuses the role of Persecutor and tells Sarah to deal with the situation herself.

Sarah persecutes Hagar by mistreating her. Hagar runs away. (Sarah = Persecutor, Hagar = Victim)

Verses 7-15

God shows Hagar where she went wrong in the first place, gives her a promise and tells her what to do to take control of her situation (submit to her mistress). Hagar takes control, follows God's instructions and the household has peace for about 13 years.

Genesis Chapter 21

Verse 9

Ishmael laughs at Sarah nursing Isaac. (Sarah = Victim, Ishmael/Hagar = Persecutor)

Verse 10

Sarah tells Abraham to send Ishmael and Hagar away (Sarah = Victim, Abraham = Rescuer)

Verse 11

Abraham is distressed. He loves Ishmael, his firstborn and only son for 13 years. However, he does not act out the triangle by attacking Sarah. Neither does he attack Ishmael or Hagar. He goes to God, who gives him an instruction. Even though this instruction must have hurt Abraham, God also gave him a promise of a life for Ishmael.

My conclusion: No more accusations, name-calling, cries to people to rescue us or a determination to put other people right. When presented with a role in the Drama Triangle, let us go to God, seek His face, get a Word, get an instruction and stand on that until His will is done.