Since my babies became toddlers, I had to cultivate the discipline of
not talking down to them as we adults are wont to do. Children possess
the same range of desires and emotions that adults to and their sense
of dignity is very strong. Dispossessing a child of his security
blanket may have a similar effect on him as a stolen wallet has on an
adult. Unfortunately, kids do not have the voice to speak out against
an injustice or explain their position.
Last night, I caught myself doing something right:
It was 6.45 p.m. We had just arrived home from work and the kids from
daycare. I had my work cut out for me: Cook dinner, eat dinner, clean
up kitchen, dash to pharmacy to pick up prescriptions, write
something, put kids to bed, update Quicken, go to bed early enough to wake up for
morning prayer. It was just a normal evening in the life of a
Damsel-Christian-wife-mother-booklover-writer.
Then it happened.
My three-year-old daughter came to me and clearly requested that I let
her tape a stack of photographs on the living room wall. I didn't have
a problem with having the pictures on the wall. I think it's more
important for the children to love their home that for it to look
beautiful. The problem was with the fact that such an activity
required that I cut up pieces of tape and hand them to her
continuously until 50 photographs were proudly displayed. That would mean none of my normal evening
stuff would get done.
I had a choice: I could say "No, sorry. Can't happen. I have to make
dinner. Go play with your toys. NOW!!" or I could practice my
Mother-negotiator skills.
I took a deep breath and said "I'm sorry sweetie, we can't put the
pictures on the wall today…….", and her eyes grew full with tears as
her face morphed into that
'How-Could-You-Hurt-Me-So-I'm-Totally-Going-To-Die-If-I-Don't-Get-To-Do-This'
look that you may have seen on your teenager's face recently. Her
chest began to heave with great sobs as I got a brainwave and
continued, "But we can look at them! How about we put the pictures on
the table and look at them, okay?"
The sobs ceased instantly, the tears disappeared as I placed the stack
of pictures on the table and she became engrossed in to studying the pictures intently.
Phew! Disaster Averted and to ensure that I do not have to rely on my negotiation skills tomorrow, I shall purchase a tape dispenser and
scrap-booking kit tomorrow.
Tomorrow: Father Abraham and the Drama Triangle